Aurora
by AstridAspera
Summary: Vampires can live forever. What are the lives of Bella and Edward like after several centuries? Spoilers for Breaking Dawn. Work in Progress.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: All belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

"Looking hard for

Moments of shine

From twilight

To twilight"

-Bjork, "Aurora"

Prologue

He is standing before me, the most beautiful death I have ever seen.

His muscles shift under his granite skin, and his teeth gleam as his mouth spreads into a small smile.

"Bella, it's time you listened to reason," he says.

"No," I whisper. I know his reasoning. I believed it too, once.

"Please, Bella," his soft voice pleading. Like the rest of his kind, his voice is the most beautiful of sounds. This beautiful being could make me do whatever he wanted, with just a note of his voice. I try to steel myself but I know I'm beginning to yield.

"No, please," I say, knowing it is useless.

"Bella, you have to understand. I have only your best interests at heart." A pause, while I weaken further. He is too beautiful to resist. They all are. How could I have thought that I would have a chance against him?

I am battling for my life, my soul, my mind. And I am going to lose.

He can sense it. The glittering smile grows wider, his eyes softer and more seductive. What can I do? I am helpless. There is no fight and there is no resistance- just a soft submission. That is the only way my happiness lies, and where it has always lain. I fold my arms against myself, to try and close my body to him, but I am soft and yielding, and cannot fight. My hands slide down until they reach my wrists.

I stand, and am quiet, and submit.

"Please," he whispers.

My left hand slides a little more, until it grasps my right wrist. There is a bracelet on there. I have worn it every day of my life, in remembrance of him, the one I love.

I touch the charm on there. My strength returns.

"No," I say, voice trembling slightly but holding steady as I look into his eyes. For once, I do not weaken upon looking at them. I do not submit.

They flash, and I know he is upset.

"You will have to take me by force," I say.

"Then I will," he replies.

And then he rushes at me, gleaming smile, melting eyes, skin sparkling in the light of the setting sun. He is no earthly creature. He is a galaxy of stars in the shape of a person, and he is coming for me.

Ten feet.

Five.

One.

And then I punch him as hard as I can.


	2. Part I: Aurora Australis Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All belongs to Stephenie Meyer

Part I: Aurora Australis- Chapter 1

Chapter One.

The soft ringing noise gathers my scattered attention. I look up, and see that my flight has arrived and it is time for boarding.

I pick up my bag and luggage, and head for the entry portal. I get there ahead of everyone else, and am the first to have my passport stamped and be admitted to the Chamber. There, I have my luggage taken from me by a small whirring robot, while another provides a complimentary bag of breakfast vitamins, media download coupons, and anti-sickness medication. I don't need them, but I suppose the thought is nice.

The robots scan me to make sure I do not carry weapons, then spray me in antiviral medicines before allowing me to board the craft. All of this is unnecessary of course. I do not carry weapons or viruses. I haven't for a time longer than these robots have existed.

I find my seat, and strap myself in. I watch the other passengers as they board. A family with one child seats itself behind me. I try to ignore them. It is difficult, of course. It is always difficult to ignore humans. Their blood pounds far too loudly. I exhale and lean back in my seat, not bothering to take another breath. I do not want to tempt myself more than I already have.

The ship is filling up now, mostly with families. It is very tiny, about the size of what was an airplane back when I was younger. We aren't traveling far, so there is no need for the gigantic cruisers so prevalent these days. Even though Iâm not breathing, I can still feel their scent. It throbs and pounds against me, and I try to turn my mind to other things. I will have to be here for a few hours, and I cannot lose control.

I have come so far; I will try to make it the rest of the way. It will not be easy. I have not fed for several hundred years.

To add to the agony, the flight will be interminably boring. I have no books to read, since I have read them all; I have no videos for the same reason. I cannot sleep, not anymore. So I must sit here, and wait, and fight my thirst.

A cool female voice over an intercom instructs the passengers in the rules of spaceflight. The lights dim, and underneath the floor I feel the engines rev up, their sound louder in my ears than in the ears of my fellow passengers. I sink into my chair and watch the people around me engage in various human activities. This will be my only entertainment for the seven hour journey. It is a necessary entertainment; it will keep me from attacking them. I have not fed in many days.

I watch the couple sitting in front of me; they are so loving. He leans over, and I can hear the small, sweet comments he makes to her. She smiles and blushes, so pleased at his devotion. A small ache begins, and I have to look elsewhere. I donât want to be reminded of everything Iâve lost. Unfortunately, the plane is full of small reminders: cheerful couples, happy families, and young people beginning to taste the adventure that life has to offer them. I was all of these things, once.

I close my eyes and steel myself; I no longer have these things because I do not want them. This is my profession, my reason for being; I still find happiness in what I do. Perhaps it is just the prospect of such a long journey; it tends to make one depressed. The engines shut off, meaning we have achieved our top speed and need only to coast through space.

I sit back and over the course of the next several hours I watch. I make small notes in a journal I keep with me; it is less for research purposes than to keep me anchored to something, so that I do not drift away in to memories. I stop only when I hear the breaks applied to the ship.

âPlease remove all belongings from the overhead compartments,â says the voice over the intercom, and I obey its orders. The past few hours have put me in a contemplative, slightly depressed mood; I hope being in a new destination can help me shake off this mood. It will also give me the opportunity to feed.

I follow the rest of the passengers off the plane, through the detox chambers and into the spaceport. It is a large, airy building. Overhead, through the glass that makes up the ceiling, I can see an alien sunset; the light is beautiful and strange. I can also see towers in the distance, already lit up for the night. Even further up in the sky are the ships; some of them small transports, others large and grand space cruisers, built for centuries-long journeys. The small ship I took ferried me from where a cruiser had dropped me off on a nearby moon. The spaceport here is new, and canât accommodate such large ships. The colony started only a mere fifty years ago.

I travel through the crowds, taking care to not walk too fast or act in a manner that would otherwise give me away. I do not need suspicion cast on me, not again. I know where Iâm going; the address was given to me in the packet with my letter. I go a couple of floors below and catch an inter-tower subway, the small train taking only a few minutes. I arrive at my tower and, after depositing my bags in the closet, I try to decide how to best treat my hunger.

I am nearly at the end of my patience; I have been in stasis for several hundred years, and while I did not have the nausea that my fellow passengers had upon waking, I am left with an intense hunger. I had been able to push it back, but only barely. Here in my room it wakes itself again, nearly ten times worse than what Iâd experienced back on Earth. It was also made sharper by the fact that I knew there were no predators I could hunt- not yet.

Iâll have to find a way to get my sustenance. And unfortunately the only way I can do that is to break into a hospital.

I remove every article of clothing I own, and take from my suitcase a spare set of scrubs and an overcoat. I have no badge, but my need is too great to wait for the amount of time it would take to create or procure one. I have maybe an hour before my careful control will snap.

In a few seemingly endless minutes I am on the train, carefully not breathing nor looking anyone in the eyes. I can feel my thirst burn its way up my throat and through my eyes; I can feel them turn darker by the second. Were anyone to look at me directly, they would see hell staring back at them.

When the train stops I race as quickly as I dare away from the platform. I see a nearby personal elevator; it must be late at local night, as the line to use it is not very long. With a few gentle smiles Iâm able to take the first spot in line, and when I am encased in its glass I press the âHospitalâ button.

The elevator- more like a personal shuttle- shoots upward in a graceful, silent manner. The speed is breathtaking, almost as fast as I am when I run. The shuttle has a window that allows me to see inside the tower, and as we hurtle past each floor I try to make note of every detail in an effort to distract myself from the pain that is slowly beginning to work its way into my lungs and down my spine.

At last, I reach the hospital floor, and when the door opens I speed off, a slight blur to anyone looking at me out of the corner of their eyes. I nimbly dodge various patients, gurneys, and doctors. I let myself take a slight breath to locate the storage room for blood, and I am nearly knocked to my knees by its overpowering scent. I canât locate the room; I am surrounded by so many injuries. I lean against a wall to compose myself.

âAre you lost?â says a kind voice. I open my eyes and see the warm, friendly face of a nurse. She looks worried. I pat my mouth, then point to the clipboard she has in her hand. She hands that and a pen to me, and on the back of a form I write the following: Iâm sorry, but I am mute. Could you please show me the way to the blood bank?

âOh, Iâm sorry! Yes, I can. Itâs two hallways over. Do you have a pass?â

Yes, I write.

âMay I see it?â she asks.

I left it at home, I scrawl on the pad. I still do not look her in the eyes.

âWell,â she says, âYou canât access the room without proper authorization. Youâll need the code plus your I.D. card. We didnât use to have these methods, but a few years ago someone was stealing blood from here, so we instituted these safety measures. Did you just arrive from Earth?â I nod. âThen,â she continues, âYouâll have to apply at the Health Department.â At this point an alarm sounds, and small lights placed over the doorways begin to flash. The look on the nurseâs face is grim.

âI have to go,â she says.

I nod, and watch her carefully as she leaves to make sure she doesnât turn around. It must be an emergency though, for she begins to run only a few steps away. I quickly turn and begin to wend my way towards the room.

One hallway away, I stop and take another, small breath. This time, mixed in with the other heady scents is a cold, organic smell. I must be close. I listen, and hear a man and a woman, both doctors, in the next hallway talking; from the sound of it they are not going to be leaving soon. I peer around the corner and see the two of them standing close together, right in front of the door to the storage room. I let out a low hiss. I do not have time for this.

I straighten up, and then race around the corner and into the couple. They are sent sprawling; the man scrambles around on the floor before I am able to knock him out with a well placed blow to the head. The woman lies in front of the door, frozen in fear. Her heartbeat echoes in my ear. I imagine what it would be like to feed- to feel her throat beneath my lips, her blood spurting into my mouthâ¦

I shake my head to clear my mind. This woman does not deserve it.

I reach down to the male and grab his I. D. card. I swipe it through the slot, and then very gently sniff the keypad. I punch in the numbers; it takes several different tries to get it right. The door finally opens, and the glorious scent of fresh blood washes over me. I turn, and see the woman cowering on the floor next to the man. I try to ignore the image as I close the door.

There are several refrigerators in the room; at the back is a door that leads into a room that houses the centrifuge. I rip open the nearest fridge and grab every package of whole blood inside. I rip into them; the taste is soothing and welcoming after so long a period of deprivation. I eat about six pints worth of blood before I am able to stop. I stuff the bags into the pockets of my overcoat and try as best as I can to wipe the blood off of the tables. I wrap the coat around me to hide the bloodstains on my clothes, and lick my lips to remove the last drops.

I open the door, and I see the woman is still there, trying to revive the man. I lean over, and she looks up at me before jumping away and into a corner. I listen, and hear his deep breathing and even heartbeat. I look over at the woman.

âHeâll be fine,â I whisper. She says nothing, but merely looks at me. I have probably traumatized her for life.

âIâm sorry,â I say, because I cannot do anything else. âDo not ever mention this to someone else.â I then speed away. Her gasp at my speed echoes after me.

I slow down several hallways away from the place, and take a deep breath. I feel fine- better than fine, I feel exhilarated. I smile happily as I walk towards the elevators until I catch the smell of blood- a lot of it. Curious, I detour and head for the room to where I locate the scent.

It obviously is the source of the flashing lights earlier. A young girl, lying in a hospital bed, is struggling to breathe. Doctors are gathered around, trying to tend to her wounds. It seems she had fallen over a balcony and caught her body on some sort of protrusion. There are jagged wounds and broken bones. If I had not fed recently I would have lost all sense of control.

A nurse arrives at the door; he is out of breath.

âWell?â barks a doctor.

âIâm sorry,â he gasps. âThereâs been aâ¦ break in. Someoneâs stolen all of her blood type that we have on hand. We have partial, but-â

âShit,â murmurs a doctor. I suddenly feel myself going very still.

âWell, get it for her,â says a third doctor. âItâs the best we can do.â

I move slowly away from the room. I hear them still debating about what to do.

I may have just cost a little girl her life.

My exhilaration is gone.

I wander back to the elevators, and again I do not look anyone in the eyes. After all this time as a âvegetarianâ and it seems I may end up killing someone anyway.

Is this the first time, though? Were there other times, perhaps, that someone died because Iâd had to use blood banks in the past, because of Renesmee, or because there was nothing else handy? Did I condemn someone to death because of me, what I am?

I hope the young doctor does not mention me to her colleagues. They might think her insane. It might also hamper my efforts to try and feed there in the future, as it will take a while to gain access to outside the colony. Next time, I will be better prepared. I will not let myself be taken by surprise.

I arrive at my apartmentâs door, but a crunch under my feet takes me by slight surprise. I had been too preoccupied to notice that someone had been there, but with my senses aware I now notice the smell of a human.

I pick up the plain white piece of paper. It is folded. I open it and read.

WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE, it says.


	3. Part I: Aurora Australis Chapter 2

Disclaimer: This is Stephenie Meyer's. I'm just playing around.

Part I Chapter 2

I lean against the closed door. Panic shoots through me, and I take a deep breath. Not only does it calm my nerves, but it reassures me that no one is near my room… yet. I know my spree at the hospital will be all over the press and the police network. I was going to try to deal with the repercussions later, but it looks like there is an unforeseen complication. I had not realized my actions at the hospital were being watched.

I move quickly through the room, gathering anything that I used or is mine. I will have to try to relocate to another apartment and another tower this instant. I change my clothes; I am certain they will already have descriptions of me out for the public to see. I put on dark jeans, a sweatshirt and a long dark overcoat. I pull out of my makeup bag several different items. I have makeup for my face and hands, to make my skin look darker. After applying this I put in blue contacts- they will hide the redness that has begun to seep into my irises. Lastly, I put on an old wig that makes my hair look shorter and lighter. The fibers smell awful and the wig is scratchy. I look in the mirror and am pleased that I am rendered unrecognizable. The makeup will hide most of the glint of my skin, though I need not worry due to the fact that it is night here.

I pick up my bag and, packet in hand, I leave my apartment. I am careful to avoid most major areas of traffic. I use the stairs in the back of the building, and though I occasionally meet groups of people on there, no one looks twice at me. I exit through a service door and find myself in an alley, near a street. I see evidence of an accident several hundred feet away, with a large crowd gathering around an overturned car. I turn at the next opportunity and try to get away from the crowd, the police, the scent of blood.

I sit down in a small nook and rest my head against a wall. The skylight overhead shows that dawn will come soon. I cannot stay out for much longer. Why did I run? Why did I panic? I am perhaps in a worse predicament than I already was.

"This is so stupid of you, Bella," I hear, and I gasp. The voice- it was Edward's. I look around wildly but see no one. Depression steals over me when I realize that it is just memories. I close my eyes and lose myself to history.

We had been so happy together, he and I. For years following my transformation, we had migrated with the Cullens, choosing to live where we would. Jacob had come as well. He was utterly enchanted by Nessie; every moment he seemed to find something new to delight in. It helped that Nessie changed with every second. She was a delight to behold. She loved the world- every day presented something new and wonderful for her to discover.

After a while though, I began to feel restless. Before Edward, my main source of delight had been to read. Now, I had a perfect memory. I needed to read _Pride and Prejudice_ only once before I found that at any moment I could with blinding clarity recall each and every word of the book. I made my way through all of my favorite books and movies in short order. I then sought out more of the same. Now though, romances were unsatisfactory- I had everything I wanted in the form of Edward. I searched out many varieties and genres of books, but I grew more discontented. It was a joy to live with my friends and family; unfortunately I did not have a pastime to keep me occupied like them. It was Carlisle who came up with the solution.

"Why not try to get a higher education?" he asked me one afternoon. Edward was out hunting with Jasper and Emmett; Rosalie was outside fixing one of her cars and Alice was shopping in the nearby town. Nessie and Jacob were out in the woods. I had elected to stay home. I found that I spent more and more time at the house now.

Carlisle's suggestion surprised me. I hadn't thought my discontent was noticeable to anyone else. Though I could let Edward hear my thoughts, we both had agreed that it made our relationship more exciting if he could not hear them constantly. Besides, I rather liked the idea that I was the only person in the household who was a mystery to him. I liked having that sort of power.

"How did you know?" I asked softly. Carlisle smiled indulgently.

"We've all noticed. We're rather worried, actually. We knew that you hadn't really had much of a chance to discover more about yourself before you'd met Edward. And now you're immortal and you have no idea how to spend the time granted to you," he said. I nodded, a little defeated. Immortality with the ones you love was wonderful, but you could not exactly spend all of eternity looking into another's eyes. The concept that I had until beyond the end of the universe to live had only recently made an impression on me. I had forever- literally. What was I going to do with it?

Carlisle coughed, a small human gesture that brought me back from contemplation. He looked worried, and I realized I must have looked a bit depressed to him.

"Typically, moving away to college is a life changing experience for people. They get to find out who they are and what they like. You never got to have that. I know-" he said, holding up a hand to forestall my protests- "I know Edward and Nessie and our family mean everything to you. But life is more than just eternal love. You need work and a purpose. Bella, it is my impression that you never had really found a purpose beyond loving Edward. Now you have him- what else will you do?" He smiled sadly. "It was one of the reasons I became a doctor, you know. Helping people is something that gives me a purpose and keeps my appetite in check."

"Do you think I should try that too?" I asked. "Should I try helping at the soup kitchens?" Carlisle looked at me for a moment.

"Is that what you want to do?" he asked.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I don't know what I want to do."

"And that," he said with a small smile, "is why I recommend college."

I thought about it for a few minutes. After all, I had been a good student in high school. There were many things out there I still didn't know about- things like aeronautics and biochemistry. I could pick a subject I had no familiarity with, and learn it until my interest flagged. I would surely run out of subjects eventually, but for right now it would keep me nicely occupied. I nodded, a slow smile spreading across my face.

"I think I'll try that," I said.

And it was as easy as that. The Cullens' extensive practice with forgery allowed me to be accepted into a small college in New Hampshire. I registered for night classes and we bought a house. No one minded moving, as everyone welcomed the change in scenery. This time around, instead of going to school, we tried to take night shift jobs wherever we could. Edward, for the first time, had decided he wanted to try practicing medicine. He worked with Carlisle at the local hospital, in case things got out of hand. Alice had managed to get a job designing clothes; she worked from home during the day and would hit the nightclubs in New York at night, with Jasper in tow. Rosalie and Emmett decided to try and pass as Carlisle's younger sister and brother-in-law; they lived next door, where they pretended to run a business from home. Jasper, for his part, worked as a security guard. I thought this was odd at first, until he informed me that he worked as a guard for a military base and implied he was privy to some high-level projects; it made sense that he wanted to go back to his roots. He also wasn't guarding personally, but was instead in charge of the department, and thus would not have to worry about being around blood. Jacob and Nessie (as she insisted she be called) lived with us; Jacob worked as a mechanic for a local car repair shop; Nessie attended high school.

On my first day of school I was nervous; what if I messed up and somehow drew attention to our family? I still was not very practiced at passing for human in human society. Alice had been helping me train, but I still wasn't very well practiced. It would be a trial by fire, I thought as I drove to school in the rain.

The school was a small private school nestled in the Appalachian mountains; in many ways the town reminded me of Forks, though with a distinctly New England feel. It was a hard college to get lost in, and I soon found my way to my first class, anthropology.

There weren't many people in the class and I was the last to enter, so I got the full benefit of stares. I had been around vampires for so long that I hadn't truly realized what an impression I would make on my fellow students. One boy nearly fell out of his seat to try and get a better look at me. In the past, this would have embarrassed me, but now I felt rather flattered. It was nice to know I was attractive. In fact, it made me rather gleeful, though I knew my face showed none of this. I decided to go ahead and sit in the front rather than hide in the back like I used to. I didn't have anything to be ashamed about.

The professor came in, a short woman with dark, curly hair. She smelled nice, and there was something about her that I liked immediately. She reminded me of someone I had known, perhaps long ago, when I was small.

"Hello!" she addressed the class, smiling brightly. I found myself smiling back at her. Her energy was infectious. I could feel the other students in the room responding to her; there was a pleasant atmosphere. This could be interesting.

"My name is Professor Lemora, and I'll be telling you about human behavior this semester." With that, she launched into a speech that was pretty recognizable as her introductory speech. She wanted to teach us, she would be there for us, if we had any questions we should feel free to ask her, and so on.

"Now," she said, with an interesting gleam in her eye, "what is anthropology?"

A student raised his hand. Tentatively, he answered, "The study of people?"

"Technically," she responded. "But it's more than that. It's about learning who and what we are. What are we, really? Why do we do the things we do? What is it that motivates us? We don't exist in a vacuum; we're influenced by the world around us. But how?" And with that she launched into a lecture about the importance of anthropology and what its aims were.

I left the lecture that night intrigued. I had only taken the class to fulfill a humanities requirement. It seemed an ironic thing, a vampire studying humans. But then, I mused, stranger things have happened.

When I returned home that night I stood in the doorway for a little while, taking in the scene. Esme was sitting at the table, using a small sewing machine to complete a dress for Alice. Rosalie and Emmett were over watching television, with Rose on the couch and Emmett sitting in a chair nearby. Alice and Jasper were lounging on the floor, Alice switching her attention from the magazine she held to the television, while Jasper read the paper. My darling Nessie and Jacob were sitting at the table with Esme, doing homework and joking with each other. Carlisle was sitting at the countertop, going over some paperwork. And Edward…

Edward was at the piano, softly playing a tune. It was an original composition, and I recognized it as being one that he had composed some years ago. I moved quietly up behind him and gently touched his hair, thrilling to the sensation of it between my fingers. He stoped playing and looked up at me, then smiled.

"How was your day?" I asked.

"I was right," he said. "My resisting to spilling your blood has strengthened my self control around other humans. After having gone through the torment that was you," and here he smiled wryly, "there isn't much about humans that tempts me anymore."

"Good," I said. He and I had discussed this earlier, but I was worried that he still might slip up in some way. I did not want him to suffer, as I knew he would if he had killed someone. And, secretly, I was glad that we did not have to move just yet. It could be done, but it would be an enormous hassle. We had moved a lot in the previous years- people seemed to get suspicious more easily these days.

I felt a light touch at my elbow and I turned to see Nessie standing behind me. She truly was a sight to behold. Her gorgeous, thick hair framed impossibly beautiful and delicate features. She had the look of a china doll, and seemed to be just as breakable. I felt a little bad for Jacob- if I could easily spend hours gazing at her, how much more was the pull of her for him? In my (admittedly biased) opinion, she was the most attractive out of any of us- more so even than Rosalie.

It was interesting to see how Rose and her got along. Rosalie had developed a deep and immediate bond with her, and doted on Nessie as she grew older. When I had to discipline her (which was not often) Rosalie would always be counted on to sneak treats to Nessie if I had expressly forbidden them, or lend her the car, or… any number of things.

Nessie and I stood there quietly and listened to Edward play on the piano. He finished the gentle tune, then stood up to hug us.

"Hey," said a voice behind me, "stop making her smell bad." I looked into the warm brown eyes of Jacob.

"Buzz off," I said, then turned and burrowed my face into my daughter's hair. Edward and Jacob both laughed and Nessie, with a small giggle, ducked under my arms and into those of Jacob. He lifted her up and swung her around, then carried her over to the couch as she protested laughingly.

"_What_ are you doing?" I heard Rose exclaim as he dumped Nessie on the couch. Jacob grinned and replied with "Annoying you." Rose huffed in irritation while Jacob laughed. I smiled and went back to the door to unpack my books. In an hour I would be finished with the reading. Perfect recall was starting to be my favorite thing about being a vampire.

I sat down at the table with Esme and opened my anthropology book. I was halfway through the chapter when Edward sat down next to me. Playfully, he ran his fingers through my hair. I smiled and shook my head. My hair smacked him in the face, which caused him to laugh. He asked, "What are you reading?"

"My anthropology homework," I replied, still a little engrossed by what I was reading. Edward laughed again. It was a sound I couldn't ever imagine tiring of.

"If you wanted to understand humans, you only had to ask me," he said teasingly. I sighed.

"It's a humanities requirement, and the only class that seemed remotely interesting," I said. Edward gave a small, sarcastic laugh.

"There is nothing interesting about humans," he said. "Trust me."

"But I was human once," I protested. "You were too."

"Yes," he said dismissively, "but that was a long time ago."

"Still though," I said, "I don't think you're that much different now than you were then. Well… except for the crushing desire to drink everyone's blood."

"Actually," said Jacob from the other room, "I'm pretty sure there are some weirdoes out there who would drink human blood anyway."

"Tell us more, " said Rose, "because we desperately want to hear about your internet browsing habits." Emmett laughed as Jacob smacked Rosalie with a couch pillow. Alice sat up from where she had been lounging on the floor.

"You people," she said in mock irritation, "are seriously hampering my attempts at studying."

"Looking at pictures of models isn't studying," said Jasper.

"You're right," replied Alice. "It's fun. But still!" she said with a pout, "No one should be disturbing it!" She then laughed and ducked the five pillows that were aimed at her head. I heard Esme give a happy sigh and I knew that she derived great joy from watching us together. For that matter, I did as well.

The days passed in a sweet and idyllic manner. I wasn't bored any longer; my classes were all fascinating. What I liked the most was how much they gave me to contemplate. Before, when I had been human, science and math had been rather more difficult for me than English. But since I was able to easily memorize formulas and theorems I started to better understand how things worked and fit together. It was still difficult, of course, but now I didn't have to worry as much about blanking on something during a test.

Of all the subjects I took, however, it was anthropology that captured my mind. I enjoyed trying to puzzle out the different connections in behaviors and their connections to the human mind. I found this to be intellectually stimulating, which confused Edward.

"I don't understand, Bella," he said one day, halfway through the semester.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I looked up from the textbook I was reading and looked up at him. His eyes caught the sun, and they gleamed a warm, golden color. I wondered why it was, if we had venom, our eyes did not too sparkle in the sunlight? But then he spoke, and his velvety tones filled my mind.

"I know humans much better than you do, Bella. I can see and hear everything. There's nothing special about them. They're just selfish," he said. I shrugged.

"I'm not sure," I replied slowly. "I think it's because they can be such a challenge."

"But they're not," he replied. "I would know, Bella."

And I understood. He was right, of course. He of all people would know better than I.

The next class, I put forth this viewpoint during a debate. While some people agreed with me, I was surprised at the responses of others.

"You can't say that," said a small dark-haired girl. "Not everyone does things because they're selfish."

"Sure they do," I replied. "It's all everyone thinks about- themselves."

"What about people who give their lives up for charity?" she asked.

"They're just doing it because they want to feel better about themselves," I responded.

"But people are much more complex than that," she said. "Not everything is so simple and so black and white. Haven't you ever done anything out of altruism?"

"Sure I did," I responded.

"Like what?" she said.

"I moved in with my father in order to let my mother be happy," I said.

She laughed. "Some sacrifice."

I was momentarily sidetracked. "Excuse me?" I said. "Forks was a miserable place to move to. I hated it there."

"Well, by your argument, you moved there because you were being selfish."

I stopped talking. Was she right? I remembered my first days there, of how much I had complained about it. I had done it to myself, after all. Had I really moved there out of love for Renee? Or was it to fulfill some other part of me?

After class I was the last to leave, moving more slowly than usual due to thought. I looked up and realized Professor Lemora and I were the only ones in class. She was looking at me thoughtfully, as though I were some sort of puzzle to try and figure out. I left the room feeling uneasy at the fact that I had drawn her attention so. As a vampire I got attention all the time, but usually in some form of awe. I hadn't been subjected to that strange, almost calculating look. For the first time in years, I felt vulnerable.

That night, I was quiet and rather withdrawn. I was preoccupied with the questions raised in class that day, as well as the look my teacher had given me before I left. Edward noticed it, and in a quiet moment, drew me into an empty room and asked what was wrong.

"Our teacher," I responded. "She looks at me like she's trying to figure me out. Like I'm a puzzle." He sucked in his breath.

"Do you think she's a threat?" he asked. I shook my head slowly.

"No… even if she does figure out something strange about me, she won't come to the conclusion that I'm anything supernatural. She's too realistic a person to go imagining vampires," I said. Edward sighed, then turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" I asked his retreating back. He stopped, his shoulders tense, and turned his head a little to answer me.

"I'm going to go call a meeting. We need to decide what to do about this."

In a few minutes we were all seated in the living room. Edward stood before the fireplace, hands clasped loosely behind his back. He stayed in that position for about a minute or two, before he turned around and said, "Bella has something to tell you."

If I had been human, I would have blushed. I did not seem to see this as being as big of an issue as Edward did. In fact, a small part of me wondered if maybe he wasn't being a bit… silly. It felt like a crime to think that, so I quickly tried to forget. After all, Edward was many things, but silly wasn't one of them, though playful was.

I looked around at the rest of the group. Most of them looked puzzled, but Alice had a knowing look on her face. Nessie was sitting on the floor next to me, staring off into space while Jacob absent-mindedly rubbed her back. Esme looked worried, and I felt a flash of pity for her. I hoped, for her sake, that we could stay here a little longer. She was game for moving, but I knew that she liked best to stay put, to make a real home.

Now, thanks to Edward, everyone was looking at me expectantly. I took a deep breath and said, slightly hesitantly, "Edward thinks we have cause to be worried about someone guessing our identity."

There was a pause while everyone digested this information. I could feel a slight undercurrent of worry begin to form in the room, and for a second I felt… irritated. I wasn't sure why, but I suddenly knew that I didn't want to move. I was enjoying my life here.

"Why should we be worried?" asked Emmett.

"My teacher gave me a look today," I said. "It wasn't the normal one either. She looked… like she was studying me." At this, I could feel the atmosphere of the room relax; I wondered if Jasper had anything to do with this. Jacob laughed.

"What does that have to do with anything? We get weird looks all the time; we don't need to worry about this," he said.

Edward whirled around. "You haven't done this for as long as we have. You don't know what you're talking about," he ground out. I was surprised at his vehemence, but Jacob was unfazed- he just laughed and said, "I've been with you long enough to know how it works. We have nothing to worry about. Hell, me and Nessie have gotten asked outright about weird stuff."

Rosalie made a strange sound, almost like a hiss; I realized that Jacob's news had infuriated her. Emmett put a restraining hand on her arm; none of the rest of us moved, but all wore varying expressions of concern, worry, and irritation. Dr. Cullen looked concerned, and, leaning forward, asked gently "What sorts of questions?"

"Oh, you know," said Jacob, "just stupid questions. Sometimes I forget that I'm a werewolf, and I'll do things a little… differently than a human would." He laughed. "It doesn't matter, you know. If people think you're odd they don't automatically think you're superhuman; they just think you're weird and won't talk to you."

"Jacob," said Jasper, looking displeased, "I would like to talk to you in the kitchen. Assuming," he turned to Alice, "that this meeting's over?" Alice nodded.

"There wasn't anything more Edward wanted to talk about," she said. Then she looked at me, with a strange, almost pitying look. I was getting tired of people giving me odd looks all the time, as if they knew something about me that I didn't.

Slowly, one by one, the family drifted from the room, until just Edward and I were left. Edward, I could tell, was still upset. His whole body was tense and his head was bowed. I moved over to him, and gently put my hand on his back. He looked up at me after a moment, and said softly, "Bella."

"Yes?" I breathed.

"Bella," he said. "I only have the best of intentions for you."

"I know," I said, slightly curious. What was going on?

"I need to tell you that I think it would be for the best if you didn't continue with college." It felt as though something cold had dropped into my stomach.

"What did you say?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Please, Bella, listen to me" Edward begged. "I know the others don't consider this to be much of a threat, but if you continue to go back, the teacher will just get more and more suspicious of you. Of us. It seems like such a small thing, but if she begins to think something is odd about you… this is a small town. Word will get around. If the Volturi find out we've been raising suspicion…" he looked deeply into my eyes, their gold penetrating the very depths of my being. I looked away. "Edward," I said, struggling very hard to find it within me the strength to fight, "I want to do this. I love this class and I find that I like school so much better now. It gives me a purpose. Would you take that from me?" I said. He was quiet for a moment.

"Before anything else, I want to protect you. If I felt any action would achieve that goal then I would," he replied.

I said nothing.

"Look, I'll call up the school in the morning, tell the administration that you've decided to drop-"

"No," I said. Edward looked startled.

"Bella, don't you understand? This is necessary-" "I understand what you're saying," I said. "My answer is no." Edward sighed.

"Bella, be reasonable," he began, but again I cut him off.

"No, Edward. You be reasonable. Alice could see if the Volturi were coming. I'm not some weak human girl anymore. I'm strong enough to fight them and to resist Jane. You saw that when we fought for Nessie. I'm sorry Edward, but your fears are groundless" I did not dare to look him in the face as I stood up to leave. As I exited the room I heard Edward behind me say, "Bella, if I have to then I will take actions necessary to prevent you from going to that school."

"Just try it," I said as I walked out of the house and slammed the front door shut.

I spent a long night outside, walking the very human roads of the town. The later it got the fewer humans I saw, until at last I was the only one walking the streets. A mist drifted in, changing the tenor of the streetlights and giving everything an eerie, otherworldly façade. I drifted through this, as much a creature of the night as the mist.

I didn't understand Edward. Though I knew he was trying to protect me, he was still trying to take from me something I enjoyed doing very much. I knew it was because he cared about me, and yet…

I didn't know what to do. Denying him this was breaking my heart, but the other alternative- to spend my days and nights locked in a house while interminable boredom slowly ate away at me- was not something I wanted to go back to. I had gotten a small glimpse of the world, and it was more intriguing than I had thought it ever could be. I had tasted life, though I was dead. I wanted to explore more.

Perhaps I could go back and talk to Edward, or maybe ask Alice what to do. I knew we had just had our first real fight, and I wasn't sure what to do about it. Perhaps-

I break out of my reverie as a flash of something catches my eye. I stand, wary, while off in the distance the mysterious person moves swiftly away, walking fast. I follow, my head down in an attempt to be inconspicuous. As I draw closer I smell his scent- the same as the one who left me my message. He disappears down an alley and as I turn the corner he goes through a small, unmarked door in the side of a wall. I follow, taking care to keep silent. There is a strange smell here, one that I do not like. I begin to feel uneasy, but just as I turn back I am grabbed from behind. I turn to try and rip my attacker apart, and look into his eyes.

His eyes are coal-black- the eyes of a killer. A vampire.


End file.
